Experiencing Pregnancy

No. I have not been amazing at keeping record of my pregnancy. Honestly though... thinking about it, there isn't too much to record until the end anyway. My first three months were not too fun. I thankfully never threw-up. However, I had my days where I was nearly motionless with nausea. The second trimester is the easiest and the best. I ate what I wanted and didn't gain a pound, most of my clothes still fit... but the baby movement is minimal (very exciting but minimal). Now I'm coming up on my third and I feel like the fun is about to start (most of the non-fun, get-the-baby-out emotions as well).

I've recently gotten big enough to where I can really feel that I am pregnant. Some people have already told me that the waddle has started. I know that I also need a little support when lifting myself off of comfortable couches. Now, most of the clothes that were originally continuing to fit me, have ceased and desisted of all fitting capabilities. I may not look huge yet, but having clothes not fit certainly makes a person FEEL like a hippo. I'm sure any and all pregnant women face the challenge of experiencing a constantly changing body. From what I know, or what I've heard... when the baby is out, its all more than worth it! I can say for myself, I cannot wait to meet our little Ren despite these physical changes.

Earlier I mentioned baby movement. Can I just say, that is probably the BEST part of this whole experience?! It's been so much fun to sit here as it started as the faintest of flutters where I questioned whether or not it was even the baby; to now, where sometimes little Ren kicks so hard it jostles me! If I am laying back you can see my whole belly move when he kicks and even on occasion theres a little limb pushing out and you can see the bump. Next I can't wait to be able to make out a hand or a foot which I've heard happens when they get even bigger. My favorite thing, however, that I've read about at this stage specifically, is that the baby can sense your heart start to race when you feel him move. It is part of what builds the bond between mother and child. So, when I feel his movements, I let the tingles creep up my spine and smile and take it all in. Each time just never gets old, it makes the pregnancy so much more real and exciting. Until our little one is out, its the only interaction I have with him!

Now, you've probably heard and maybe even seen couples talking to the baby bump bellies... I have to say I felt so weird about it until this last week or two. Until you get really big, and until baby is really moving... it just feels like your talking to your stomach. Now, we talk to him all the time! Especially because when Trav and I first get up in the morning and he hears our voices, he starts to get really excited! It's fun to think about all the people around us that he will be semi-familiar with as well just from hearing them talk around him all the time. The only thing we haven't done yet that we've been wanting to do is play music for him. Apparently, I've read that I should also be singing to him... something about the songs being comforting post-birth. Which I believe... but who on earth knows lullabies these days??? I tell you, if you have any good ones, let me know. Little Ren will be my only audience but I am open for suggestions!

Well time is winding down. Travis said it today... we were once 3 months in, not we have 3 months to go... the scary part is that it will probably be less than that! I am so torn, thankfully my pregnancy has been fairly easy thus far and so there is a part of me that wants it to last just a little bit longer. I would simply like to have just a little bit more time... then there's the anticipation where you know what?! He can't come out soon enough! Especially after having gotten some clothes for him, all I want is for him to be out so I can play with him and put all his outfits on him! Everyone should know, he will be the new star of my instagram as soon as he is born! Sorry Travis, your son will steal the show for a while. Really but not really at the same time... I will have plenty of shots of the two of them together... the men in my world. Being torn down the middle might be a good thing, keeps me in a balanced contentment with where I am at. I am excited, but I can wait!

Little Ren, you are already so loved!

A Season of the Unexpected

If you had told me a year before my wedding day that I would be getting married the following August, I would have laughed at you. Still, here I am, 6 months into a marriage and now expecting a little bun. Somehow, despite its outer, rushed appearance, it all feels natural. The timing of everything just feels right.

I have to say, I only found out yesterday and the emotions were overwhelming. Mixture of complete bewilderment, fear, excitement, joy, anticipation along with lots and lots of processing. All the new scenarios we will face, the responses to the news, obstacles, as well as everything we will need to organize in the process!

If i were to think about it, it would have been the moment I told my husband and he affirmed his commitment and longevity regardless of the circumstances, with a hint of a smile of excitement; it was that moment that I knew it was right.

My husband and I were close enough within our one year of dating/engagement that it feels as if we are living out our second year of marriage now. What a beautiful time it has been. Living in Australia these last two years helps with the "get-out-do-something-before-you-have-kids" as well. All of it leaves us feeling, although surprised, ready.

When I say ready, that doesn't mean we feel like we have enough finances, we have a house, or that we are fully prepared. On the contrary. From an objective perspective, the timing couldn't be worst. We have sold almost everything we have, we are moving countries and will be living with my parents until we can find work, a car, and a home. Wow. When you put it that way, what are we going to do?!

Still, there is an odd sort of peace around it all. It was meant to be. That being said, we will have a community of friends and family surrounding and supporting us. When the stress creeps up, my favorite encouragement is looking at all those first-time mothers who have gone before me. They always told us in college, don't be afraid of small beginnings. The number of people I have seen rise out of seemingly impossible situations and do amazing things is endless.

So, here's to small beginnings. It may seem daunting now but we are ready to take on this massive change in life with optimism and excitement. We are ready to see how it will change us and challenge us for the better. We are most definitely excited to welcome a new little Ren into the world and as part of the family!

In Honour of My Father

I used to hate haikus. Not for any real reason, they just didn't make sense to me. Then there was some point that I just found a new fascination with them... I found these sitting in my draft blogs. They were meant to be posted on Fathers day, but now is as good a time as any. So, here they are, 6 haikus in honour of my father.

A childlike point of view,

full of affection and joy,

this is my father.

Strength, willpower, and

complexity enwrap him.

Yet he portrays love.

A steadfast spirit,

and full of consistency,

his love is faithful.

Ready to correct,

he conveys wisdom and truth,

a part of his heart.

He will always be,

a pillar of fearlessness,

and courage to me.

This is my daddy,

it’s who he always will be.

Forever my dad.